A New neighborhood opened and people were excited to see how quickly the development had filled up. It was beautiful. Mowed lawns, and fresh paint, it was a dream for all the new neighbors. A few years go by and a few problems spring up. The roads began to show signs of premature aging. The asphalt buckled in places, sidewalks cracked, and occasionally you could see signs of block beginning to shift and cause the houses to shift. After a lot of complaints, the city did research on the development. They found that the buildings were all built to code, and there was no problem with the materials that built the infrastructure. So they started checking the history of the property that this neighborhood was built on and found that the location was once a landfill. As they put more and more weight on the property, it began to shift, because the stress of living there was too much to withstand the pressure of the development. The poor ground and foundation on which these homes were built could not withstand the pressures of living. In our world today, families live in broken homes. Not because they were bad people, but because they build their lives on foundations sitting on the trash of their lives; and when pressure comes, the foundations crack and after a while will no longer stand the weight of a family, and the foundations split, and the walls begin to crack, and the once beautiful home they had always dreamed of, has now been reduced to a crumbling structure that can become unsafe, and no one wants to live there.
Genesis 2:20-24
But for Adam [f] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (not from his head that she would reign over him, not from his feet that he would reign over her, but from his side so they would live as co-workers, partners together, in this adventure called life.) 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Here scripture points to the fact that we are better together than alone in life. God himself said It is not good for a man to be alone. Not that He can’t, but that he is better with a partner. So, God created woman. Why? because he looked all over and there was no suitable companion for man. We were created for relationship. Why was that? Because God himself lives in relationship of the holy trinity, and we were created in His image. You and I are to live in the spiritual marriage of man, woman, and God. Not to be confused that they themselves are gods. (But people often do.) But for us to remember the God who made us and that He made us to live in relationship with our spouses and God himself. A picture of the holy Trinity, of the God we serve.
God created in the heart of man to live in relationship. Everyone who has ever lived has sought out these two relationships…
(1) a relationship with God …
(2) a relationship with another individual who is similar but different.
The Bible says that He created male and female. God performed the first wedding, and Adam and Eve became husband and wife. And the earthly representative of God came into being. It's what we call family. The father, the mother, and the child. We are made in God’s image. This is why the desecration of marriage is so significant. When we break the covenant of marriage, it becomes a false narrative of God. Scripture tells us that God hates divorce. Couples hate divorce. Children hate divorce. Everybody loses. Now, are there times when divorce might be the right thing to do? Sadly, yes. Scripture tells us if a partner is untrue, they can be divorced. If it becomes physically threatening, divorce might be the only remedy. Scripture tells us that “God hates divorce and a man who clothes himself in violence.” Occasionally you hear of an “amicable“ divorce. Somehow, I doubt that. That’s where both people had little intention of honoring their vows, so when life got tough, and it does, let’s just quit and be friends. Marriage is more than that. It is an oath we take to God. As believers, you need to do everything you can possibly do to restore this relationship. Just like God did for you. If you are an unbeliever, I suppose you can do whatever you want. But understand this, divorce breaks down the fiber of a culture. We are less than we were as a culture, every time a divorce is granted. You may be asking what then should we do…
(1) Marriage is not a ceremony or about planning a great reception. This is the greatest commitment of life next to your relationship with Christ.
(2) Quitting in a marriage is not an option. Find a new way to approach the problems of life.
(3) Choose carefully who you seek marital advice from.
(4) Life will always have problems, whether married or a family of one, quitting (divorce) is never an option.
If you don’t manage money well now, you won’t be any better single. This is the number 1 stated problem in American marriages. Our affluence has given us a false idea that if we see it and we like it; then we want it because we need it. If we need it, then we buy it. If we can truly afford it or not. Then the cycle continues. There is one more thing I need to make life complete. I like it, I need it, I’ll take it. Finances are stated as the number 1 cause of divorce. Let me go back… The most significant relationship we have, outside our relationship with Christ, is our relationship with our spouse. I heard of a young lady speaking to her mother over the phone. She was telling her all the reasons she was upset was her husband. Life wasn’t very good and she wanted to come home and move back in with her mom and dad to which her mom replied, “This is not your home. Your home is with your husband.” Parents, do not allow your children to be quitters no matter how much of a hero that child may think you are. When your parents tell you NO it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it means they do! Be committed to your spouse… not to the boys you hang out with…and ladies not to your girlfriends. Always and only be committed to your spouse. Chose to love your spouse … Love is a choice, not an emotion. There are lots of things I have done over 43 years of marriage that my wife probably didn’t think was the right thing to do, and there were one or two things she did that I didn’t think were quite right. But because we chose a long time ago that we would commit to one another that no matter what we would be together.
Three most important words in marriage “You’re probably right.”
I want you to know I understand that life is hard. You are going to have to forgive a lot of things that you think your spouse did wrong. They probably have no idea. But you felt the pain. But you must forgive. Swallow your words of hurt. Forget trying to be right. What you are arguing about is not as important as your relationship. If you ask, why do you have to be the one always forgiving… because Christ taught us to pray…Father forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing. And the second reason…They are praying the same prayer for you. Father forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing. Let me shape a well-lived life for you…
Love God with everything you’ve got.
Love your spouse with everything you’ve got.
Love your kids, and treat them like God’s kids, because they are.
Love the world around you,
If you live this way, I promise you a life that the richest man who ever lived would envy. It won’t be easy. People don’t always do the right thing. But you might make a couple of mistakes along your way.
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